Top 100 veggie jokes of all time

Here’s a growing collection of the top 100 veggie jokes of all time…

What’s the fastest vegetable?

A runner bean

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice.

Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?

Because he couldn’t find a date!

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?

Ketchup.

What vegetables are a sailors enemy?

leeks!

Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing…Thank you Tom for this joke

When do you know a banana wants to dance?

When you see a banana shake!

Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?

Because they take up too mushroom…(mushrooms aren’t strictly a vegetable but we do let them in Secret Seed Society, because they are good friends with vegetables).

Why do mushrooms get invited to all the vegetable parties?

Because they are such fungis (fun guys, get it!)

How does a lemon ask for a hug?

“Give us a squeeze!”

Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

Lettuce

Lettuce Who?

Lettuce in and you’ll find out!…Thank you to Michael for sending us this joke.

Why aren’t banana’s ever lonely?

…because they hangout in bunches!

Carla Carrot and Grandpa Swede are having a chat

Carla Carrot: “Peter Parsnip beat Rudi Radish in a thumb war.”

Grandpa Swede: “That’s a turnip for the books.”

Why do potatoes always argue?

Because they can never see eye to eye.

Why did the carrot get embarrassed?

Cos it saw the chick pea!…Thank you Evan, for this side-splitter.

Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears!

What do chickens grow on?

Eggplants!

What did one snowman say to the other?

It all smells like carrots to me.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing…Thank you Tom for this joke

What is small, red and whispers?

A hoarse radish!

When do you know a banana wants to dance?

When you see the banana shake!

When do you know a snail is lying?

When he tells you he’s not at home!

Peter Parsnip has forgotten his punchline too, can you help?

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They’d crack each other up!

What did the cucumber say when he saw the Airplane?

Courgette (“Caw Jet!”)

Give us a hand to find the best 100 veggie jokes of all time. Rack your brains! Ask your friends! Task your teachers and grown ups to find the best 100 veggie jokes of all time. Send them to us in the comment box below or email us fun[@]secretseedsociety.com

Books For Cakes in the Meanwhile Space, come and join us!

BOOKS + CAKES + CLOTHES + TOYS at the Meanwhile Space,

10am – 7pm Monday April 11th

We’re sharing the space with Mimimyne, who have won a ton of prizes for their range of organic clothing and toys for children.

BOOKS

We’ll be selling our Seed City Story’n'Seed packs, and will also have childrens’ travel guides from our friends at Unlocked Guides, poetry and fiction collections from Lazy Gramophone, and illustrated wonder-books from NoBrow. Continue reading